A Companion for the Cowboy (Brush Creek Brides Book 2) Page 8

  Justin sighed and grabbed a couple of cookies, but the thought of actually putting one in his mouth made him twitchy.

  “You’re turning back into him,” Walker said. “And I don’t like it.”

  “You were happy with Renee,” Landon said. “What happened?”

  Justin took his cookies into the living room and collapsed onto the couch. “She told me she was in love with me.” He didn’t have to look at his friends to know they’d exchanged a glance. “And I just…can’t deal with that right now.”

  “You don’t want a pretty woman in your life?” Walker leaned against the wall near the door and put almost a whole cookie in his mouth.

  Justin knew his friends wouldn’t understand. He couldn’t expect them to; never had. They hadn’t endured two failed engagements.

  “I just couldn’t get myself to say it,” he said. “I just—I can’t—I don’t think I’m quite ready to be at that level, and I may have panicked.”

  Walker’s brow creased, and Justin didn’t like the look on the foreman’s face. “Maybe you shouldn’t have started dating her if you weren’t ready.”

  Anger and humiliation made his insides thrash. “I wasn’t expecting to feel so strongly about Renee so quickly.”

  “Millennials do everything quickly,” Landon said. “Heck, I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s already found another boyfriend.”

  The very idea made Justin see green as pure jealousy coated every cell. “No.” He shook his head.

  “Maybe you should call her and find out.” Landon knocked on the counter and headed for the front door. Walker went with him, the intervention over.

  Relief made Justin’s muscles sag, and he took a bite of his cookie, beyond confused about what to do. He swallowed and tipped his head back, his eyes tracing lines on the ceiling as he prayed more fervently than he ever had before.

  Before he finished, he already knew what he had to do.

  Swallow your pride.

  Justin tried to complete the action physically, and it made his throat hurt. He had no idea how to swallow his pride, because it seemed too big to even approach in small bites.

  Chapter Eleven

  “Yes, yes,” Renee said into the phone as she tossed her toothbrush into an overnight bag. “I’ll be there in the morning.”

  Her boss wanted her in Moab by morning, and as it was already nearing seven p.m., the four-hour drive would have her arriving late enough to make her cranky.

  She hung up and muttered, “Couldn’t he have let me know sooner?”

  But she’d learned that sometimes memos in the National Parks Department got lost, misplaced, or downright deleted.

  But her boss had assured her that he was very pleased with her work in getting more traffic out to Dinosaur as they’d seen a seven percent increase in visitors since she’d started as the social media coordinator.

  She finished packing and opened the fridge, like she’d have anything good to eat inside. She didn’t, of course. She hadn’t for a couple of months now, and she could really use a vat of ice cream about now.

  The last time she’d talked to Justin flashed through her mind. The morning after he’d dropped her off, she’d waited around for hours, just knowing he was going to call. When he hadn’t, she’d bought every flavor of ice cream the grocer carried. And then she’d gotten right back on her diet. She was down seventeen pounds, thank you very much, but she no longer had a reason to starve herself.

  Deciding to get Chinese takeout as she passed through Vernal, she snatched her keys from the kitchen table, shouldered her purse, and retrieved the suitcase from her bedroom.

  She pulled open the front door and nearly smashed into Justin, who stood on the porch, one hand falling to his side as if he were about to knock.

  She sucked in a breath, her heartbeat vibrating through her whole body like bass turned up too loud. She couldn’t even form his name; she just stared at him. He wore that sexy cowboy hat, a red short-sleeved shirt, and his jeans. She’d seen him in an outfit similar to this on many occasions. Opened her front door to find him waiting for her on the other side for dozens of evenings in a row. Somehow, now, the sight of him made her numb, cold.

  “You leaving town?” he asked.

  Everything that had frozen at the glorious sight of him thawed. “Yes,” she said. “I have a business meeting in the morning in Moab.”

  He shoved his hands in his pockets. “So I guess now isn’t a good time to talk.”

  She stepped out of the house, forcing him to back up, and locked the door after she pulled it closed. “It’s not. Sorry.”

  Three weeks. The man had left her in silence for three full weeks. They’d missed the apricot festival. Renee hadn’t been able to force herself to go, even when Leah called and begged. She hadn’t tasted a single bite of the town’s famous apricot preserves, and she’d probably read twenty books in the past three weeks.

  Seeing him standing there, all gorgeous and humble, set fire to her blood, and not in a good way. She stepped away from him, half-hoping he’d call her back, beg her to talk to him.

  “So I’ll call you tomorrow,” he said.

  She laughed, the bitter notes of it clear and loud in the autumn evening. “Right. I won’t hold my breath.” She unlocked her car and popped the trunk. She started to lift her suitcase, and then Justin was there, effortlessly taking it from her and depositing it in the trunk.

  “I will call tomorrow.” His gaze burned into hers.

  “I don’t know what my schedule is like.” She wanted to melt into him, kiss him good-bye, thank him for finally coming around. At the same time, she deserved a proper explanation for his sudden loss of speech three weeks ago, for his radio silence, after she’d told him she loved him.

  “Look, I owe you an explanation.” He closed the trunk. “Will you be home tomorrow night? Maybe we can go to dinner.”

  Helplessness filled her. “I don’t know. My boss didn’t detail why he needed me in Moab.” She lifted her chin. “But when I get back in town, I think dinner sounds like a good idea.”

  Half a smile formed on his face. “All right, then.”

  She pushed him in the chest. “Don’t be so proud of yourself, Mister. You have a long way to go.”

  His boots scuffed the ground. “I’m not proud,” he said. “At least I’m trying not to be.”

  She studied him and found the remorse in his eyes. “I’ll text you when I’m done with my meetings.”

  His face lit up and she basked in the warmth of it before ducking into her car.

  By noon the next day, Renee was ready to shed her fancy-schmancy business skirt—which she’d purchased specifically to meet her boss for the first time face-to-face, and which was two sizes smaller than she normally wore—and text Justin to jump in his truck and take her to dinner in Moab.

  Because Steve never—stopped—talking. Though the man had twenty years on her, he was a gabber, and Renee couldn’t wait to get out of the conference room. She and two other social media coordinators had been suffering for the past four hours, and Steven hadn’t said much of anything.

  Renee had given a presentation on her use of hashtags, and how she’d been using pithy comments about dinosaurs, including using the specific types of them, to get more eyes on her tweets, her Facebook ads, and their instagram pictures. That had been a fun discussion, but it had lasted twenty minutes and she hadn’t prepared anything, because Steven hadn’t asked her to.

  Luckily, she knew enough and had enough experience with all things social media that she could talk about them in her sleep. In fact, she probably did.

  By three o’clock, she knew she wouldn’t make it back to Brush Creek in time for dinner that night. On a weekday, nothing stayed open past eight, and even if she drove as fast as her sedan would allow her, they’d have less than an hour for dinner.

  She excused herself and stepped into the sunshine to text Justin.

  Renee: Not gonna make it to dinner tonight. Sorry.

>   Justin, only seconds later: Still in meetings?

  Renee: All day long. I want to die.

  Justin: Not much of a meeting guy myself.

  Renee: No kidding? I had no idea. ;)

  Justin: Ha ha. What did your boss want to tell you?

  Renee: He likes my work. I gave a presentation and everything. Not really using my resource management degree, but I like tweeting.

  Justin: I’m not even sure how to tweet.

  Renee: Whatever. I looked you up. JJ Roping Man, if I remember right.

  Justin: I have never tweeted. My manager did that.

  Renee: Ohhh, your big shot manager. I see how it is.

  Justin: I used to be a professional in the rodeo.

  Renee: Another mystery solved. Also, can I start calling you JJ?

  Justin: In your dreams.

  Renee: Oh, I have dreams about you.

  Justin: We can talk about those at dinner too.

  Renee: I should be done here in a couple of hours. Call me about 700?

  Justin: Deal.

  Renee pressed her phone to her chest, trying—and failing—not to forgive Justin so fast. But she couldn’t help it. Just like she couldn’t keep the bet a secret the first time they’d talked, she couldn’t reason away her feelings. Sure, some of them were hurt, but just talking to Justin again soothed the wounds.

  Her phone rang, startling her. It wasn’t Justin, but her mom. “Hey, Mom. What’s up?”

  “Just calling to check in.”

  “It’s not a great time. I’m supposed to be in a meeting.”

  “Oh, is this the Moab thing you texted me about?”

  “Yes, and I just stepped out to text Justin.”

  A healthy pause on the other end of the line revealed why her mom had really called. Renee didn’t mind. She liked talking to her mom, and she’d been calling a lot more often since Justin had gone silent. So what if the first time she’d been crying?

  “So you’re talking to him again?”

  “He showed up on my doorstep last night.”

  “And?”

  “And nothing. I was leaving town. We barely spoke, and I just texted him about the awful meetings.”

  Steve appeared on the other side of the window, clearly looking for her. She held up one finger to indicate she’d be another moment. A moment of disconcernation stole across his face and then he lifted his hand to indicate she should take her time before he turned and left.

  “How do you feel about him?”

  Renee sighed. “My boss is looking for me, and that question is impossible to answer anyway.”

  “It shouldn’t be.”

  “It’s going to take some time,” Renee said. “My heart is cracked.”

  “But it’s not broken,” her mom singsonged.

  Renee couldn’t help smiling. No, her heart wasn’t completely broken, and she knew a very handy cowboy that would have her fixed up in no time—if he could find the right words to say.

  She hung up with her mother and took a few more moments in the sunshine. She did love Justin Jackman, she was sure of it. She’d prayed over the last three weeks to know for sure, and God had given her the answer. Justin was “the one” for her. She had then started praying that she’d be the one for him, but the Lord had been less than forthcoming on that.

  She tilted her head heavenward and offered her latest rendition of a prayer. “If it be Thy will, please bring him back to me.” Nothing more. She was tired of trying to be the perfect woman for him. He certainly wasn’t a perfect man. But he was hardworking, and caring, and kind, and everything she’d hoped to have in a husband.

  She had dreamt of him, of what life would be like in that cowboy cabin of his at the top of the canyon. And she’d been happy in the dreams, with all the babies she’d always fantasized about having. Maybe she could keep designing social media campaigns for the Parks Department too. She didn’t know.

  What she did know was that she was needed back in the meeting. She knew God loved her. And she knew that if she simply kept putting one foot in front of the other, that someday, she’d find her happily-ever-after.

  She could only hope—and keep praying—that it was with Justin.

  Chapter Twelve

  Justin endured a couple of restless days, knowing Renee wasn’t just a quick nine-minute drive down the canyon. At the same time, now that they were talking again, a measure of relief had infused his life. Relief that he’d been living without for too long.

  Friday after work, he entered his cabin and scrubbed the top of his dog’s head. “Hey, boy.” At least he wasn’t completely alone. His footsteps faltered as he realized he didn’t want to be alone for the rest of his life. And a dog for company wasn’t nearly enough when compared to Renee.

  Help me tell her I love her, he prayed as he stepped into the shower. She’d texted a couple of hours ago to say she’d just left Moab. He’d be early, but he didn’t care. He wanted to see her the moment she stepped from her car, wrap her in his arms, and whisper the three words she needed to hear.

  An urgency to get to her house coursed through him, and he lathered up faster. He arrived at her house and parked on the street so she could pull into her driveway when she got there. She’d replaced the metal, rusted table and chairs on her front porch with a flirtier, fun version that fit her personality.

  He settled into one of the white wicker chairs, glad for the teal and white striped cushion she’d put on it. Teal and yellow wicker pieces adorned the table legs, and Justin ran his finger along one as a slight breeze touched the brim of his cowboy hat.

  “Renee,” he said out loud, glad the neighboring houses weren’t too close. “I—I.” He exhaled in frustration. He’d been the first to tell both Paulette and Tina, the women he’d proposed to, that he loved them. He remembered the rush of saying those words, the excitement when they were repeated back to him.

  He rubbed his palm over his clean-shaven face. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t responded when Renee had first told him she loved him.

  I love you, Renee, he thought, but his throat seized.

  “I—love—you.” The words scraped his throat and he wished he’d brought a bottle of water with him. By the time Renee arrived, he wouldn’t be able to say hello, much less I love you.

  “You have to tell her,” he said, a thread of agony pulling through him. He didn’t want to lose her, and she’d spoken true that relationships only ended in one of two ways: a break-up or a wedding.

  His phone rang, and his heart jumped to the back of his throat. But it was only his brother. Justin considered sending the call to voice mail, but his brother rarely called, so he answered.

  “JayJ,” Harvey said, his voice jovial and too loud. Harvey had a tendency to yell everything he said. Justin had always looked up to his older brother, and it had been a while since he’d spoken with him.

  “Hey, Harve. What’s up?” He scanned the street, but all he saw was a couple of children running with a dog in a yard a few houses down. He knew from Walker that school started on Tuesday, and this was the last weekend of freedom for the kids.

  “I’m hosting Thanksgiving dinner at my house this year,” Harvey said. “I wanted to call and personally invite you.”

  “Mom put you up to this, didn’t she?” Justin sounded accusatory, but a smile graced his face. “Because I haven’t been home in a couple of years.”

  “Alex wants everyone together,” he said, referencing his wife. “Since we moved into our new house, she’s been dying to have the whole family here.”

  Justin thought about the sunny skies in California, the sandy beaches, the way he seriously needed a vacation. “You’ll put a baby gate up for me, right?” he asked with a chuckle. “Mom says your house is like six levels.”

  Harvey laughed, and Justin pulled the phone from his ear lest he go deaf. “It’s not six levels. Okay, there are a lot of little levels, like three or four stairs. I’m sure Alex has a baby gate in the garage or something.” He laug
hed again, quieter this time. “Does this mean you’ll come?”

  “Yeah.” Justin exhaled. “Plan on me. And…can I bring my girlfriend?”

  “Shut the front door.” Harvey whooped. “What’s her name? How serious is it? Have you told Mom? Of course you haven’t told her, because she would’ve mentioned it to me. Wow, JayJ. Just wow.”

  Justin looked up to the sky and didn’t even try to contain the grin or the happiness. “Her name is Renee, and—” A car came around the corner. “She just got here. I have to go.” He hung up amidst a very loud protest from his brother. He gripped the phone tight, tight, and then placed it on the table beside him. He tossed back half a container of orange Tic Tacs and moved to the top of the steps, where he leaned against the pillar, containing his hands in his pockets so she wouldn’t be able to see the tension in his fists.

  She pulled into the driveway and took her sweet time gathering her purse, a water bottle, and her phone before emerging from the sedan. “Hey, there,” she called, smoothing down her blouse in what Justin recognized as one of her nervous gestures. She wore a business jacket and skirt, with a pale pink blouse underneath—clothes he’d never seen her in. She was so sexy his breath caught in his throat and he couldn’t tear his eyes from her.

  He swallowed hard as she approached, barely able to keep himself from rushing down the stairs and taking her in his arms—where she fit.

  “Hey, yourself,” he finally managed to say. “How was Moab?”

  She sighed as she fumbled for her keys in her purse, her eyes averted from his as she stepped past him. Disappointment cut hard through his gut, making it even harder to swallow.

  “It made me more grateful for my work-from-home job.” She flashed him a brief smile and stuck the key in her front door.

  She’d only been gone for two days, but her house smelled a bit stale. Justin shut the door behind him, sealing them in navy darkness until Renee flipped on some lights. She disappeared around the corner, leaving Justin to wonder where he should wait.