Her Restless Cowboy Read online

  “Not dating,” she muttered to herself as she slid into the car and put Steeple Ridge in her rearview mirror. With every passing yard, her erratic feelings over the cowboy settled and that sense of dread that had been plaguing her since Missy had called and set up the appointment returned. Honestly, it was better than that fiery attraction between her and a cowboy that had to be just barely older than twenty-one.

  “Call Zackary McCoy,” she instructed her car as she maneuvered back into the populated part of Island Park. The Sports Complex sat on the northern side, just across the street from the elementary school, and she set her car in that direction.

  “What’s up, Rae?” Zack answered, then immediately continued a conversation with someone with him wherever he was. Probably in his office, which sat right across the hall from hers.

  Rae waited for him to finish, then said, “Who else can take on these horseback riding lessons?” As much as she wanted to be in Ben’s presence and learn about what he hid behind those shuttered eyes, she thought their working together wouldn’t be a smart idea. And now that she was thirty-five, she needed to be smart about a lot of things she hadn’t considered in the past.

  Zack exhaled, the sound one long hiss over the phone line. “I can check our staff, but we’re already in the weeds with lifeguards, pool concessions, the senior citizen class, the—”

  “All right.” Rae’s words had more bite than she liked, but she couldn’t help it. Heading into summer was the worst time for the community rec center in terms of staffing, and Rae knew it. She’d been the human resources administrator for three years before moving over to manage the youth sports programs, and eventually, the Sports Complex.

  “Let’s see where we are in the next three weeks,” Zack said in his placating tone. Out of all the men she’d dated in Island Park, her relationship with him had been the best. Absolutely no spark between them, which allowed them to remain friends all these years later. But she still missed the camaraderie, the feeling of belonging to someone, the assumption that she wouldn’t have to eat alone that night. Or worse, with her equally single mother. Sure, she loved her mother. Liked spending Sunday afternoons with her. But Friday night? Rae didn’t quite want that relationship with her mom.

  “I’m at the Sports Complex,” Rae said, though she was still several blocks away and ended the call. She really didn’t have time to create, conceptualize, and carry out the horseback riding lessons. She wouldn’t have time even if she somehow figured out how to clone herself. Even though she’d been a champion show rider once, she hadn’t been on a horse in years and years. Had no desire to saddle up again.

  No desire to give her heart to another cowboy only to have it handed back in tatters.

  She pulled into the parking lot and came to a stop in the circle drive closest to the restrooms and the children’s playground. She should’ve gone around through the neighborhood to the east, parked over by the supply shed on the edge of the complex. But she needed the walk, the fresh air, and with any luck, she’d be able to sort through her tangled emotions before she had to meet with her guys.

  The sunshine warmed her skin where the air conditioning had cooled it. The spring smell of pollen lingered in the air, and the evidence that her crew had been working most of the day showed in the pristine, green lawns, free from trash and weeds. A breeze played with her ponytail and she took several deep breaths, her thoughts calming with every step she took around the mile and a quarter loop.

  Her gaze wandered to a lower spot of grass that had once been a pond. The town filled it in the summer before she’d taken over the complex after a four-year-old boy had drowned in the murky water. His mother still lived in town, and Rae was glad the constant reminder didn’t exist anymore. She almost made a mental note to go visit Bonnie and see how she was doing. Maybe in November….

  She arrived at the supply shed, where three city trucks were parked. Her full crew should be here, as she was twenty minutes late. Sure enough, when she stepped from sun to shadow, a wall of male sweat hit her. They’d been working in the sun all day, that was certain.

  Burke, her foreman, handed her a clipboard and said, “Fertilizer and pesticide applied. All trash liners filled and replaced. Bathrooms stocked. Extra help coming tomorrow. All of it.”

  She pretended to look at the paperwork she’d left with him that morning. A huge checklist of everything that needed to be accomplished before the two dozen softball teams arrived. “Thanks, Burke.” She glanced up and looked at all the men who’d put in full days for five solid weeks to get the sports complex looking brand new after a harsh winter. “Thank you, all.”

  Rae smiled. “Zack and I are buying pizza for everyone tomorrow. At the rec center. Hour-long lunches for everyone.” She handed the clipboard back to Burke, who hung it on a nail by the door she’d walked through. She’d ask him about the supplies that needed refreshing after the others had left. Or maybe through a text tonight.

  He handed her a single sheet of paper. “What we need to restock the shed.”

  She took it and let her hand fall back to her side. “Burke, do you know anything about horses?”

  Confusion crossed his expression. “A bit.” He watched her with his hazel eyes, something sharp there that unsettled Rae.

  “Enough to help me organize a riding program?”

  His eyebrows rose. “Don’t we have enough to do?”

  She gripped the paper a bit too tight, and the crinkling sound alerted her to her stress. She relaxed her fingers, completely overwhelmed by the many tasks that needed doing.

  “Monday morning,” she said, tucking the paper into the back pocket of her jeans. “Come by my office for an hour.” She turned her attention to the group at large, who had finished cleaning up the shed and were waiting for five o’clock to hit.

  “Go on home, guys,” she said a full fifteen minutes early. Her plans to stop by the diner and get dinner for her and her mother solidified when Burke and every other male in the building hung up jackets and tool belts and keys to riding lawn mowers and left.

  Only minutes later, she stood in the supply shed, glancing around at the city-owned equipment, the desk where the men turned in their timecards so they could get paid, the pegs that held shovels and rakes and extra sprinkler heads.

  Loneliness descended on her in the silence that followed. She locked up and completed the loop back to her car, grateful for the blue sky and the longer evenings before darkness claimed another day.

  She drove the two blocks to the rec center, which bustled with activity as townspeople came to exercise after they finished work, as the older youth volleyball program continued, as moms and little children left to head home to start dinner and get to bed.

  She joined the flow of people into the building and stepped behind the desk. Down the hall, past a few doors, she finally came to her office. The youth soccer teams needed to be formed, and coaches contacted, and schedules for practices and games and tournaments made. Rae had ten days to get it all done, and she’d never completed the job faster than that.

  She collected the file box containing hundreds of forms and heaved it onto her hip. If she had work to do, her mother wouldn’t talk for too long about her job at the drug store, though Rae usually liked the stories. People were fascinating, and sometimes what her mother saw was stranger than fiction.

  “Going home?” Meredith asked from her perch at the check-in desk.

  “Going to my mother’s.” Rae used a dry tone that caused Meredith to chuckle. She could laugh because she had a husband and two dogs at home, waiting to fill her lonely hours with conversation and pet tricks and love.

  “Have fun,” Meredith singsonged. Rae had moved around the desk and was heading toward the exit when Meredith added, “Oh, and we’re still on for tomorrow, right? It’s salsa night for bunko.”

  “Cinco de Mayo was last week.” Rae half-turned and smiled at her friend. Of course she hadn’t forgotten about bunko, especially if there was going to be copious amounts of salsa. They’d play loud Mexican music and eat too many chips and for one night, Rae wouldn’t be so lonely it choked her.

  “It’s the monthly theme.” Meredith brushed back her blonde hair. “Denny’s going to Boston for the weekend, and Layla’s bringing her famous mango salsa.”

  “Layla better not bring another stray dog and somehow convince me to take it home with me.” She already had three cats and two dogs and she had nowhere else to put another living creature.

  “I will tell her no dogs.” Meredith made an X in the air in front of her.

  “Or cats.”

  “No dogs or cats. Or ferrets. No animals, period.” Meredith grinned. “Can you bring your mother’s almond punch?”

  Rae tipped her head back and laughed. It felt good to be reminded that she did have friends in Island Park. She simply didn’t want to go home with her friends. “You’re never getting that recipe. My mom’s made me promise on my grave.”

  A mischievous glint sparkled in Meredith’s eyes. “A girl can keep trying.”

  Rae lifted her hand in a final farewell and left the rec center, finally feeling more like herself than she had since meeting with Ben Buttars that afternoon.

  Chapter Three

  Ben sat smashed between Sam and Logan, enduring the five miles from the farm to town with the simple hope that Rae would be at church that morning too. He’d never seen her there before, but he’d never looked. Never did much more than slip to the bench Sam dictated and lose himself inside his thoughts.

  He often thought of his mother and father, of the aunt they were going to visit in Alaska when their single-engine plane went down. His mind often landed on how grateful he was for Sam for making sure they were all able to stay together.

  But today, he glanced around for a certain brunette. Trouble was, women caught him looking and they looked back. He wasn’t sure how long they’d been looking, but Sam had been out with several women since they’d arrive in Island Park. Logan too. Darren seemed more interested in horses than girls, and Ben had just been baking pretzels.

  Now he was looking. How Sam had endured the weight of all those female eyes, Ben didn’t know. He slipped down the appointed pew and took his seat against the wall, a buffer of his three brothers between him and everyone looking. It was like everyone suddenly knew that he was interested in Reagan Cantwell and had an opinion about it.

  Thankfully, Sam seemed to have the timing perfected, because the pastor stood up only moments later and the service began. Halfway through the hour, Ben started to squirm. He craved wide open skies and a bustling breeze and the movement of his horse beneath his body.

  He blinked, stopped scanning the backs of people’s heads, and focused. Pastor Gray spoke about service and losing personal worries and cares inside helping others. “I challenge you to look at the people in your life. See if you can identify one person you could serve. Pray that opportunities to serve will be put in your life.”

  Ben closed his eyes, but three people had already entered his mind. Sam, the brother who’d become like a father to Ben in a single day. Missy, the only woman Ben had in his life. And Rae, the woman he wanted to have in his life.

  He’d sat in the office for a few minutes after she’d left, wondering why she’d seemed so worried about his age. In turn, he’d been obsessed about knowing how old she was. Definitely older than him. She wore the maturity in her stature, the faint laugh lines around her eyes, the experience of speaking to men in her easy conversation.

  The service ended, but Ben stayed in his seat as his brothers stood. How he’d missed the swarms of women before, he didn’t know. Logan elbowed him. “You’d think there were no eligible bachelors in this town.” He nodded to where Sam stood with no less than three women.

  “Do you know any of them?” Ben asked, his gaze moving beyond the women to the crowd beyond, still hoping to see Rae. What he’d say to her, he had no idea. Maybe a glimpse was all he needed to make it through another week of washing horses and prepping fields and sweeping stalls.

  “I think Sam likes the strawberry blonde,” Darren said. “He always was a sucker for a redhead, and see how he keeps edging toward her?” Darren chuckled. “He’s just gun shy after the last woman wanted to take him to Maine to meet her family after the second date.”

  “Who is she?” Ben watched the blonde, the interest in his brother obvious in her eyes.

  “Her name’s Bonnie. She works at the elementary school, I think. Her ex-husband used to own the grocery store.”

  “Divorced?”

  Darren shrugged. “I barely get to town more than you do, Ben.” He stood. “Let’s go. Maybe we can get Logan and Sam out of here if we head outside.”

  Ben had stood and inched toward the end of the row when he spied Rae. She found him at almost the same moment, and she stilled. Ben sucked in a breath, the distance between them too great for her to notice or hear but something locked them together. Something invisible but very very real.

  Then she was walking toward him, her lips curving upward and her eyes crinkling. Her black and floral skirt swished around her legs, and Ben watched the fabric, mesmerized.

  “Hey,” she said, glancing at Darren before meeting Ben’s gaze again.

  “Hey.” At least he’d spoken.

  Darren chuckled and kept moving, leaning in to say something to Sam as he passed. Sam immediately turned back to where Ben stood, his eyes missing nothing. What he thought, though, Ben couldn’t tell.

  “How was the softball tournament?” he asked.

  She sighed and brushed her hair over her shoulder. She wore it down today and Ben fisted his fingers as they started to itch with the need to touch her hair.

  “It was a success.” She leaned into the end of the pew. “Do you—? I mean, could you come over to my office sometime this week? I’ve got one of my guys helping me with the riding thing and….”

  Ben let her voice trail into just noise. She didn’t want to work on the riding program. He’d known it from her demeanor at the farm, and now she’d given the assignment to someone else.

  “Give her your number,” Sam said, breaking into Ben’s mounting panic.

  “What?”

  “She asked for your number so she could call you about the riding lessons.” Sam’s eyes sparkled with a tease as he extended his hand. Ben automatically reached into his pocket to retrieve his phone. Sam took it and gave it to Rae, who typed in her number and handed it back to him. Sam took hers and swiped and tapped while Ben stood there mute. He wasn’t sure what coursed through him quicker, humiliation or anger. But he made no move to correct his brother, said nothing to stick up for himself. Sam had simply always been there, taking care of things for Ben. Even getting a woman’s phone number.

  “I’m meeting with him in the morning,” Rae said. “I’ll call you later.”

  “All right,” Ben said and Rae gave him a final, foxy look before ducking her head and leaving.

  “What is that about?” Sam asked, turning his back fully to the still waiting women.

  “Nothing,” Ben mumbled. “The riding lessons Missy put me in charge of.”

  “Oh, you’re clearly not in charge of anything with that woman,” Sam said, chuckling. “She’ll chew you up and spit you out.”

  Ben rolled his eyes. “Like I don’t know that.” Inexperienced as he was with girls, even he’d known Rae didn’t exist on the same playing field as he did.

  “Funny thing,” Sam said as they left the church. “She seemed interested.”

  “She did?” Ben looked at his brother. “How can you tell?”

  Sam smiled, the wattage of it as bright as the sun. “I can just tell.” He put his hand on Ben’s arm before they go too close to where Logan and Darren waited by the truck. “You should be careful with her.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “It means that’s Reagan Cantwell. She’s well-liked in Island Park, and from what I’ve heard, she’s had her heart broken a time or two.”

  Ben blinked. He’d never broken a girl’s heart before. He hadn’t even been out on a date with someone since his parents’ deaths.

  Sam must’ve recognized the dumbfounded look on Ben’s face. He slung his arm around his brother’s shoulders and said, “Go slow, Ben. Be nice to her. Get to know her. See if you like her.”

  “What if I don’t like her?”

  “No big deal. If you’ve been nice and gone slow, no harm, no foul.”

  “What if I do?” Pure panic pounded through him, accelerating his pulse.

  “You’ll know what to do if it comes to that.”

  “No.” Ben shook his head. “No, Sam. I have no idea what to do.”

  His brother laughed and opened the door to the truck. “Logan will help you.”

  “Help him with what?”

  “Dating Reagan Cantwell.” Sam climbed in the truck and slammed the door, sealing them all in the cab.

  “I’m not—” Ben started, but Logan swooped in with, “You’re dating Reagan Cantwell?” and Darren said, “You met with her once. Ben, didn’t Sam advise you to go slow?”

  “He never goes slow,” Logan said, scoffing, to which Sam protested.

  Ben let his brothers bicker and banter around him. At least he didn’t have to talk, and his mind warped around the idea of dating Reagan Cantwell. Without any real life experience to relate it to, his fantasies ran wild through green fields with picturesque blue skies above, and they all ended right when he was about to kiss her.

  That evening Missy and Tucker arrived at the farm at five, just like they always did. Ben had been lying on the couch in the front room, waiting for the tell-tale rumble of Tucker’s truck. When he heard it, he shot to a sitting position and then proceeded to meet them on the front porch so he could help bring in the food they’d brought.

  They lived in town, but Missy brought food out to the farm every Sunday evening. She wanted to make sure the brothers ate properly at least once a week.