Her Last Cowboy Christmas Read online

  “Good morning, Amber,” he said, finally coming all the way inside and letting the door close behind him.

  “Morning,” she croaked. Clearing her throat, she added, “I’m sorry about yesterday.”

  He waved one hand like what she’d done was no big deal. He was easy-going and laid-back, and she really liked that about him. “It was a rough day for you. I understand.” He flashed a smile, the movement in his mouth quick and strong. “I also happen to know you love doughnuts.”

  He moved over to the counter where the volunteers usually checked in and set the box down. For some reason, Amber couldn’t move as she watched him open the box. “Come see.”

  Their eyes met, and that electric charge that had always existed between them flowed as a live current. It propelled her across the space between them to peer down into the box. An array of chocolate and maple bars sat inside, and she couldn’t help giggling.

  As the tears came, she spun and grabbed onto Lance. “Thank you,” she whispered into his shoulder, thrilled when his arms came around her too, holding her tight, tight against him.

  “Listen, Amber.” He coughed slightly and continued with, “I know it’s not a great time and all that. But I’ve liked you for a long time, and I’d love to change your mind about cowboys.”

  Shock and fear made her pull away from him. “Lance—”

  “Not right now,” he said quickly, his bright blue eyes devouring her. “But I’ve always waited too long, and then some other guy asks you out. Some idiot like Dwayne.” He leaned closer while Amber’s mind spun.

  I’ve liked you for a long time.

  “So I just wanted you to know. I’m not Dwayne. That guy wasn’t even a real cowboy.” He took a step back and tipped his hat. “Enjoy your doughnuts.” He fell back again, and Amber suddenly didn’t want him to leave.

  “Stay,” she blurted. “I certainly can’t eat all of these by myself.”

  “Yeah?” Lance asked, looking up from under the brim of his hat in the most adorable way.

  “Yeah.” She smiled and took out a chocolate bar. “Besides, I know you bought these for you anyway. I like the peanut butter ones more than chocolate.”

  “Oh, sweetheart,” he said with a chuckle. “You think I don’t know that?” He turned, opened the door, and stuck his hand out. Someone put something in it, and he turned back to her holding another box of doughnuts. He lifted the lid and tilted it toward her, and it only had peanut butter bars in it.

  Amber blinked at it, warmth seeping through her, barely covering the surprise and the panic. She couldn’t get involved with another man right now.

  Could she?

  Laughter filled her mouth, and she let it out. Lance laughed with her, and someone out on the porch of the volunteer house handed him a gallon of chocolate milk and a stack of cups, and then he locked the door behind him.

  As they sat down behind the desk together to eat, Amber couldn’t help looking at him again. He wasn’t just a man.

  He was the best-looking man she’d ever laid eyes on. The kindest.

  And he liked her.

  Had for a long time.

  So maybe she couldn’t get involved with another man right now, but she could certainly start dating a cowboy.

  By lunchtime, Amber walked through her front door without feeling like the weight of the world rested on her shoulders. She’d had a great couple of hours with Lance that morning, and then he’d left with the words, “Whenever you’re ready, Amber,” and another adorable duck of his cowboy hat.

  A cat yowled, and instant regret hit Amber again. “Cyclops,” she said, dropping her purse a step inside the front door. “I’m so sorry.” She got busy getting out more cat food, though the feline still had a bit of kibble in her bowl.

  She was blind in one eye and declawed, but Cyclops still put off plenty of attitude as she waited for Amber to get the cans of wet cat food open. She paced, the cat equivalent of foot-tapping, and Amber kept apologizing until she put the food in front of the feline.

  Cyclops dug into the food, and Amber went back to her purse to get her phone as it started ringing. JJ’s name sat on the screen, and Amber swiped on the call. “Heya, sis.”

  A squeal filled the line, and Amber held the phone away from her ear. She giggled until her sister quieted, and then JJ said, “I just got engaged!”

  Amber’s heart dropped to the floor and rebounded back to its rightful spot in her chest. “Congratulations,” she said, her voice hardly sounding like her own. In two weeks, Amber would turn forty, and that would make JJ six years younger than her.

  Of course she had her whole life figured out already. Amber hated the poisonous thoughts in her head, but she didn’t know what to do about them.

  “Tell me how it happened,” she said, hoping she could play the role of a supportive older sister for the next hour. She did wish happiness for her sister. Of course she did.

  Cyclops finished eating long before JJ stopped talking, and the cat had apparently forgiven Amber, because she jumped into her lap and sat down.

  “And I said yes.” JJ sighed blissfully.

  “That’s so great,” Amber said. “I’m happy for you, JJ.”

  “And you have to come shopping with me,” her sister said.

  “Of course,” Amber said, letting some of the engagement excitement bleed into her. “Of course I will.” She made plans with her sister for the following weekend, and when she hung up, she decided there was nothing better to do with her Saturday afternoon than take a nap.

  Then she wouldn’t have to try to make sense of her feelings. Wouldn’t have to try to figure out why she couldn’t find someone who wanted to commit to her the way JJ had. The way so many people around her had.

  She closed her eyes, and the beautiful sight of Lance’s face filled her mind. He’d said he’d be ready when she was, but Amber wondered if she should give herself some time before jumping right back into another relationship.

  But that didn’t mean she couldn’t think of him every time she ate a doughnut.

  Chapter 3

  Lance kept his head down and his hands busy around the ranch, just like he always did. Since Cache had started the cow cuddling program several months ago, Lance had been reassigned to the Canine Club, as the dogs required more hours per day than Cache had to give. The other cowboy had taken most of the chores Lance had used to do with the pigs and any help Hudson and Dave needed with the horses and llamas.

  Not only that, but the large care veterinarian had been training Cache as Gina simply couldn’t be everywhere.

  Lance didn’t mind. He loved dogs almost as much as humans. More, probably, as they did what he said and didn’t make him second-guess everything.

  He’d done exactly what Ames and Cache had advised him to, and even he could admit that the hour he and Amber had shared eating doughnuts and drinking milk had gone well. She’d filled the volunteer house with smiles and laughter, though she’d looked absolutely broken when he’d first walked in.

  A week had passed, though, and she hadn’t texted him. Hadn’t said more than a couple of words to him when their paths crossed between the Goat Grounds and the Canine Club.

  He told himself to be patient. Cache told him to be patient. It felt like the whole ranch was holding its breath, waiting for Amber to make the next move. Lance had obviously bounced a big ball to her, and she’d just had something traumatic happen to her.

  He could wait. Heck, he’d been waiting for two years already.

  Another week and another Sabbath Day found him on the bench with Dave and Sissy. Lance basked in the contentment and peace that came from his friends. Dave had always been kind to him, and he’d offered a fair share of advice about Amber over the months as well. He hadn’t been part of the intervention a couple of weeks ago, and Lance wondered what he’d say now.

  A sigh slipped from his lips before he even realized it, and Sissy looked at him. He gave her a quick smile and focused back on Pastor Williams. But his at
tention simply wasn’t on the sermon today.

  Sissy must be able to communicate with Dave telepathically, because Lance’s phone brightened a moment later, buzzing against his thigh. He glanced at it to find his friend’s name there and a quick message.

  You okay?

  Fine, he typed quickly without looking at the man sitting right next to him. I’m headed out. He didn’t wait for the text to go through. He stood up and walked down the aisle, feeling like every eye had landed on him.

  But he couldn’t be caged by walls today. After a quick trip to his cabin to change and grab leashes for Ribbon and Maddie, his two rescue dogs, he loaded everything in the back of his truck and said, “Let’s go see Rufus.”

  Forty minutes later, he pulled into his parents’ driveway and looked at the two-story white house with blue shutters. He wouldn’t necessarily talk about Amber today, but he did like coming to visit his mother.

  The simple way his parents had lived reminded him that life didn’t need to be complicated. He’d grown up right here in this house, and memories streamed through his mind of the mischief he and his older brother and his younger sister used to get into.

  He’d said good-bye to his father right here in this house too, and he’d held his mother’s hand while his dad took his last breath. Sudden sadness came over him, but it only stayed for a moment. His father had been old and in so much pain. His death was a mercy Lance had prayed for, though he knew his mother had been lonely this year.

  And if there was anything Lance understood, it was loneliness.

  He finally got out of the truck, his emotions ping-ponging all over the place today. The booming bark of Rufus could be heard from somewhere in the backyard, and pride dashed through Lance that his pups had stayed in the back of the truck.

  Maddie whined, as the little dog still had some fear around bigger dogs. And Rufus was a huge Great Dane mix that didn’t know his own size. Ribbon paced, his tongue hanging out of his mouth and his limp noticeable with every step.

  “Sit down guys,” he said, holding up his fist. Ribbon complied immediately, but Maddie whined and kept her paws up on the tailgate. “Maddie.” He lifted his fist as if she couldn’t see the sign he’d taught them for sit.

  She did, her tail barely touching the metal before he released the tailgate. She leapt from the back with a bark, but Ribbon waited for Lance to pull out the steps so he could get to the ground without jumping.

  Then he trotted off toward the side of the house where Maddie had disappeared. Lance didn’t worry about them out on the farm, and he grinned at his mother as she came out onto the front porch.

  “What are you doing here this early?” she asked with a smile.

  He went up the steps saying, “Nothing. Hoping you have something good to eat,” and hugged her. Love and relief moved through him at the touch of his mother, and he held her extra-tight, wishing his emotions weren’t so close to the surface today.

  He wasn’t usually an overly emotional guy, but he couldn’t seem to let go of his mom either. She held him tight too, as if she could sense she might be the only thing holding him together.

  “I’ll make coffee,” she finally said, and Lance stepped back.

  “You feeling okay, Mom?” Lance asked.

  His mother shook her head, and Lance saw the exhaustion pinch around her eyes. “I can come another day,” he said.

  “That’s not necessary,” she said. “I’ll put fresh coffee on, and we can sit on the back porch to keep an eye on your dogs.”

  “It’s Rufus we need to keep an eye on,” Lance said as she opened the front door and went inside.

  “Right?” She laughed, and Lance joined his chuckle to hers. She set about making coffee while he went outside and let Rufus out of the dog run. He bounded like a deer toward Ribbon and sniffing ensued. At least they’d all stopped barking. Maddie zipped around the yard like a quick bolt of brown lightning, and Lance wished he could experience joy on that level.

  He joined his mother on the porch and took the coffee she gave him. “Thanks, Mom.” He sighed as he sat, and that caught the attention of his mother. He really needed to figure out how to keep his sighing contained, as Dave had texted three more times since Lance had left the chapel.

  “What’s new at the ranch?” she asked.

  Lance shrugged. “Not much.”

  “Hmm.” She rocked in the chair his father had made for her decades ago, and Lance knew she could outwait him. The woman had the patience of Job, and he wondered if that was where he’d gotten his from too.

  Several minutes later, Lance said, “Is everyone coming for lunch today?”

  “Not until four.”

  Same as always. Lane usually joined his family for their Sunday afternoon meal, and he enjoyed his nieces and nephews. No one in his family had ever pressured him to bring anyone, and they didn’t ask incessant questions about who he was dating. He’d always been grateful for that, but he found himself wishing someone would ask today.

  “Mom, do you think I could ask for some help?”

  “Help with what?”

  He shifted in his seat and took another sip of his coffee. “A woman I like.”

  That got her attention, and her blue eyes rounded. “Is it serious?”

  “No,” he said quickly, refusing to look away from Rufus and Ribbon. “We haven’t even gone out. It’s…complicated, I guess.” But it really wasn’t. “I’ve liked her for a long time, but she always has a boyfriend. Her latest just broke up with her, and I told her I like her. It’s been two weeks, and nothing.”

  He looked at his mother. “Is that normal, or should I accept that she’s not interested?” His heart wailed at the very possibility that Amber wouldn’t even consider a relationship with him. She’d flirted with him plenty before, and if he hadn’t waited, maybe things would’ve been different.

  “Maybe she just needs some time,” his mom said. “You’ve not said anything else?”

  “I told her I’d be ready when she was.”

  “Hmm,” his mom said again. Another couple of minutes went by before she said, “Maybe let her know again, Lance.”

  “How?”

  “Most women have a weakness,” she said. “Mine was flowers. Whenever your dad wanted to apologize or soften me up to get me to go on a cruise or something, I’d find flowers on the kitchen counter.”

  Lance enjoyed the stories of his mother and father’s marriage, their love for one another. He could hear it in every letter, every word. “I forgot you hate cruises.”

  “And yet we went on three.” She got up, her rocking chair squeaking. “I have to go get the potatoes in the oven.”

  He nodded, and she left him on the porch with his own thoughts. Let her know again.

  Find her weakness.

  Lance knew a lot about Amber, as they’d been friends for a couple of years now, and suddenly an idea popped into his mind.

  Ballet tickets.

  It wasn’t even his own thought, and he tipped his head toward the heavens and said, “Thank you, Lord.”

  The following evening, Lance’s throat itched as if he’d swallowed a colony of ants and they were trying to crawl their way back out. Maybe he was coming on too strong. Amber hadn’t seemed to have any problems saying yes to other men when they showed interest in her. Maybe she didn’t like him. Maybe he’d read all of her signals wrong over the past seven months.

  Yet he kept going back to the Fourth of July, when he’d held her hand and they’d flirted shamelessly during the animal adoption event at the church.

  What had that been?

  He wanted to find out—and he decided if Amber didn’t come out and say no, he was going to keep showing her he liked her. With those thoughts in his mind, and the ballet tickets in an envelope in his hand, he went up the steps to the front door of the volunteer house.

  Amber had organization down to a science, and Lance had seen the house run without her. Volunteers knew exactly what to do, even if it was their firs
t time out to the rescue ranch. Half of him hoped Amber would be gone for the day already.

  She didn’t live on the ranch the way most of the cowboys did, and he hadn’t bothered to check to see if her car was parked behind the building. The scent of lemons hit him from the candle burning on the check-in desk.

  Amber glanced up, her brown eyes brightening when she saw him. That wasn’t fake, was it? Would she really look pleased to see him if she wasn’t?

  “Lance,” she said, rising. She smoothed her hands down her pale pink blouse and pressed her lips together. Lance saw every movement, his heart starting to beat faster and faster. He wished this woman didn’t have such a great hold over him, but he didn’t know what to do about it.

  “I’m sorry I haven’t called or anything,” she said, stepping around the desk. “Things exploded here, and Jewel’s been at the ranch with me for a week.” She gave him a smile, a bit of trepidation in her eyes.

  “It’s fine,” Lance said, though he thought it wouldn’t have been too terribly hard for her to text him and let him know. “I was…It’s your birthday today, right?”

  She nodded, those brown eyes filled with something he couldn’t name, giving him courage to go on.

  “Well, happy birthday.” He grinned and held up the envelope containing the tickets. “I know you like the ballet, and they’re doing Don Quixote this winter. I thought maybe we could go together.”

  Her eyebrows went up, and she looked from him to the envelope. “The ballet?” She giggled, her eyes positively sparkling now. “I didn’t know a big, tough cowboy like you enjoyed the ballet.”

  Oh, he didn’t. But she did, and he wanted to be with her. He simply put a smile on his face, and asked, “Is that a yes?” He swallowed, feeling brave as something electric sang along his skin. “The tickets are for Valentine’s Day. It’s a few weeks away still.”

  Amber took the envelope from him, but she didn’t open it. “Then you should probably take me to dinner this weekend, so we don’t have to wait quite so long to see each other again.” She looked at the envelope and back to him, that sexy smile stuck to her mouth. “I can’t believe you know when my birthday is.”